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A review of the trip can be found in two parts, so long was it.
| 11-12.05.2008 - FROM HOME... TO FELDKIRCH | ||
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VIDEO: leaving home, and leaving Dover | |
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VIDEO: the Mannekensvere swamp | |
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It's good to head off the Autobahn for a bit... | |
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...because route 10 between Pirmasens and Landau in der Pfalz not only shortens the drive massively, it also cuts right through Naturpark Pfälzer Wald. Marvellous. | |
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VIDEO: lunch in Naturpark Pfälzer Wald. | |
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The river meets the road, somewhere near Memmingen | |
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Mountains in the distance? We must be approaching Austria! | |
| 12.05.2008 - FELDKIRCH, AUSTRIA | ||
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Jugendherberge Feldkirch, with the Austrian scenery in the background... |  |
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...and a full frontal shot of the 700-year-old building that was once the town's infirmary. | |
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VIDEO: an update from my room in Jugendherberge Feldkirch | |
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The blue-green water of the river Ill | |
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Looking down Liechtensteiner Straße... those mountains are in Switzerland! | |
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VIDEO: view from the bar in Feldkirch | |
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Austrians take their brewing tips from Germany... no surprises there. | |
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Schattenburg, lit up at night - it was a fine chance to test my night-time photo setting! | |
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A very Austrian breakfast the next morning, including the customary (not very) hot chocolate | |
| 13.05.2008 - LIECHTENSTEIN | ||
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VIDEO: the arrival in Vaduz |  |
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Schloß Vaduz: the Prince of Liechtenstein's castle, seen from a café. Unfortunately, he's got the builders in... | |
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A much closer view of the castle... I would later buy a large souvenir beer stein with this castle on it. | |
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The government building in Vaduz | |
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A church in Vaduz, blocking my view of the forest behind it | |
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Liechtensteiners have plenty of money, which is what it takes to keep this (hideously unreliable) NSU Ro80 in mint condition. | |
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The Rhine, separating Liechtenstein from Switzerland | |
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VIDEO: the rickety wooden bridge to Switzerland | |
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A footbridge over the Rhine - which was safer than it looked | |
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Schloß Vaduz, seen from the rickety bridge - complete with spectacular scenery | |
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Immortal impressions... standing astride a national border | |
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It may look like a third division stadium, but this is the home of FC Vaduz... and is where the Liechtenstein national team play their home games. England came here once and put an amazing two goals past the part-timers... | |
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Vaduz... from what passes as the coutryside in Liechtenstein | |
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Either this is an art project, or the house will look great when it's finished! | |
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Want to see an entire country in a day? Liechtenstein's City Train will do it for you! | |
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As I was in Vaduz, the football team were busy winning promotion to become the first team from Liechtenstein ever to play in Switzerland's top division. That explains why the place was a bit rowdier than usual... | |
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Didn't I say Liechtensteiners had a lot of money to keep rare old classics on the road? This Citroën SM pulled out in front of us while I was on a bus... | |
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The ski resort of Malbun, about as far as it's possible to go into the mountains, in May... almost deserted and more like a sleeping village. | |
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That stream will be clean enough to drink from | |
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A perfect Alpine village... the silence is deafening... | |
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Is anyone home? | |
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Still, it's a fine place to get away from it all in the summer, isn't it? | |
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Ye gods, there's a hotel open, and they must have seen me coming! That's the Malbuner Teller, full of meat and cheese, and a fine lunch it was too. The beer from Liechtensteiner Brauhaus (which is just over the border in Switzerland...) wasn't half bad, either. | |
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VIDEO: fun in Malbun | |
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Looking down into the valley from Triesenberg - that's a fine way to see two countries at once! | |
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More Alpine houses in Triesenberg - but these are probably occupied | |
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On the way back to Feldkirch, somewhere between Vaduz and Schaan - yes, that is a vineyard, in the middle of the Alps. | |
| 14.05.2008 - FROM FELDKIRCH TO CAP D'AIL | ||
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VIDEO: route planning over an Austrian breakfast | |
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That customary shot on the Austria-Liechtenstein border - or, actually, just inside it, given that the border itself is guarded | |
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VIDEO: a beer stein from Liechtenstein! | |
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VIDEO: I am less than impressed with the driving standards in Milan... |  |
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VIDEO: arrival at Cap d'Ail, and an update in the dark! |  |
| 15.05.2008 - CAP D'AIL, FRANCE | ||
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The precarious position of the tripod, when filming a panning shot across the French Riviera | |
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The view west from my upgraded room at Hotel Miramar | |
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The view east is less interesting, but Monaco is just behind those buildings... | |
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A cruise liner, maybe heading for the harbour in Monaco? | |
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VIDEO: a panning shot of the view from the hotel | |
| 15.05.2008 - MONACO | ||
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Over the border and into the millionaires' playground! We are even welcomed in the local Monégasque language... |  |
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VIDEO: welcome to the millionaires' playground | |
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Fontvieille doesn't look like much, what with the ubiquitous Carrefour and McDonald's, but there's something really significant in this shot, which I'll come back to later... | |
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"Certainly, sir. That'll be one million billion euros. Cash or cheque?" | |
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A Ferrari garage! It doesn't look out of place in Monaco. The one on Lenton Lane in Nottingham, on the other hand... | |
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The steps up to Palais Princier de Monaco | |
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VIDEO: climbing the steps | |
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Palais Princier de Monaco, at the changing of the guard | |
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VIDEO: the full changing of the guard ceremony (seven minutes) | |
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A memorial statue to commemorate 25 years of Prince Albert I's reign; the current prince, for those unaware, is Albert II | |
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The view from the top of the rock, down to the famous harbour; the grandstands are there because the Grand Prix was only ten days away. | |
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A panoramic view of the Palais Princier... hang on, Albert II's got the builders in as well! | |
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A British-registered Aston Martin, parked outside an expensive hotel in Monaco? What's that doing there? Do you expect me to answer that?
No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die! |
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VIDEO: a lap of the Monaco Grand Prix circuit (with a sitrep in the middle) | |
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Hotel de Paris: for the price of a night here, you could buy a house in Middlesbrough. | |
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One side of Casino Square | |
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The other side of Casino Square, featuring the casino itself | |
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The infamous Loews hairpin - or at least, it is if you're my age | |
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The Japanese garden | |
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More of the Japanese garden | |
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The Grimaldi Forum, not quite Monaco's answer to the Louvre | |
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Yes... Monaco has just enough coastline to have its own beach! | |
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The Russians take the concept of Matryoshka dolls to Monaco, and now have Matryoshka boats... | |
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It's a good job the statue at the swimming pool was turned that way... | |
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Lewis Hamilton? Heikki Kovalainen? David Coulthard? No, never heard of them... | |
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La Rascasse, the second to last corner on the circuit, is very appropriately named | |
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It's that Ferrari garage again! Unfortunately, the "classic" is a 400i, which wasn't one of their finest hours... | |
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Every part of me wants this to be an original Porsche 356. | |
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The coloured tunnel under the huge cliff that the Palais Princier stands on, which is served by a network of lifts... | |
| 15.05.2008 - PRINCE RAINIER'S PERSONAL STASH OF CARS | ||
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"Collection de S.A.S. Le Prince de Monaco, Exposition de Voitures Anciennes": loosely translated, this unassuming door in Fontvieille is the gateway to an automotive cornucopa that Prince Rainier collected during his lifetime. I was rather excited at the prospect of what I might see here... | |
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The open plan of the museum | |
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Horse-drawn carriages from a time before anyone had any concept that such a thing could be "horseless"... | |
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Even Prince Rainier could see the allure of the Ford Model T | |
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Ferrari 250 GT, Jaguar E-Type | |
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Ze Churman Mercs, very old and not so old | |
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Yankee Cadillacs | |
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VIDEO: the moving parts of the motor museum. The second half of this is a mobile made of parts of two 1983 Renault F1 cars. | |
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The 1989 Ferrari 643, as driven by Nigel "Il Leone" Mansell | |
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The Bugatti EB110: predecessor to the Veyron. Michael Schumacher had one. | |
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Now, this is a rare car indeed: the Monte Carlo Automobile ALA50, built for (and apparently to be raced by) Prince Albert II, and which had just arrived in the museum only five days beforehand! | |
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A long line of Maranello's finest | |
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The one on the left is a Maserati Bora | |
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The rare road-going version of the Lancia 037, and a couple of Jags | |
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Les Citroëns Traction Avant | |
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Porsche 928, et beaucoup de Citroëns (CX, CX estate, DS) | |
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Lancia Beta coupé and Fulvia: the prince certainly had good taste in cars! | |
| 15.05.2008 - EVEN MORE MONACO | ||
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Cathédrale de Monaco | |
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The French polar exploration vehicle, outside the Musée Océanographique | |
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VIDEO: the Musée Océanographique in motion | |
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And inside the Musée Océanographique: fish! | |
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The view from the back of the main tank; that's a real, live, growing coral reef in there... | |
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No, it's not an interesting rock; it's a stonefish, and it's got enough venom to take out an entire army. | |
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That's a lionfish, and it's got enough venom to take out two armies. Achtung! | |
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And here are a couple of sharks, with more teeth than the entire Osmond family. | |
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Narwhals, narwhals, swimming in the ocean... not that this one is anymore. | |
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It reminds me of something... | |
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Esplanade Rainier III, which looks out over Fontvieille... | |
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...and also has a sundial, which wasn't a lot of use earlier! | |
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The view from the Esplanade | |
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The garden built in memory of Princess Grace | |
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...and the customary parting shot on the border! | |
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Back in the hotel... I thought I'd have this figatelli for dinner. It was a sausage entirely made of offal. It wasn't quite what I was expecting... | |
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VIDEO: the Musée Océanographique in motion | |
| 16.05.2008 - FROM CAP D'AIL TO BARCELONA | ||
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VIDEO: rain delays and roadside cookery on the motorways of the south of France | |
| 16.05.2008 - BARCELONA, SPAIN | ||
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VIDEO: an evening in Barcelona |  |
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The view from the top floor of the hostel - right next to my room | |
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Gran Teatre del Liceu, Barcelona's famous opera house - at night | |
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Real Spanish paella! And beer... | |
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Estatua de Colón, at the southeast end of La Rambla | |
| 17.05.2008 - MONTSERRAT, SPAIN | ||
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VIDEO: the rain in Spain falls mainly on Montserrat | |
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A look down, deep into the valley, from near Montserrat | |
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The Stairway To Heaven (unfinished) | |
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A good impression of the job the cable car has to do... and think what it'll be like in there on a day like this! | |
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Another look into the jaws of death... | |
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Somewhere in those clouds is hiding the jagged peaks of Montserrat (which are supposed to look like this...) | |
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...at least these slightly more rounded rocks were visible | |
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Montserrat's monastery, a.k.a. The Gates Of Mordor, where people of the wooden cross go to watch small boys in skirts. I think I'll pass... | |
| 17.05.2008 - DOWNTOWN ANDORRA | ||
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VIDEO: an evening in Andorra |  |
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The Caldea spa in Escaldes-Engordany, built around a natural hot spring | |
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The maze inside Caldea | |
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I'm sure there must be some way up there... | |
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Escaldes-Engordany is so famous for its spa water that there is a "water route" round 14 fountains in the town. This isn't one of them, it's Calidea i la Dama de Gel, in Andorra-la-Vella... | |
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This one's definitely on the Escaldes-Engordany Water Tour, because it was right outside the hotel I was staying in | |
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The Pont de Paris, spanning the Gran Valira river | |
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Casa de la Vall, Andorra's tiny government building - the back entrance | |
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The church of St. Esteve | |
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Calidea i la Dama de Gel again, this time lit up at night | |
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Andorra's take on the Ampelmann. I actually sent these photos to the Ampelmann website, to no avail... | |
| 18.05.2008 - UP IN THE ANDORRAN MOUNTAINS | ||
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VIDEO: in the Andorran mountains - the deserted ski resort | |
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In the mountains at the end of CG-3, beyond El Serrat. The ski resorts are closed, the lifts are shut off... but is that a man determined to go skiing I see there? | |
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...it is! It's a long way to the top, if you want to ski down again... | |
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The snow may be receding for the summer, but there's still plenty of it | |
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Forested mountains in the Pyrenees, to rival anything in Norway | |
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...and the asphalt spaghetti that snakes its way up makes for an interesting drive! | |
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Ordino Arcalis: completely deserted, except for me | |
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...but there's still tons of snow to have fun in | |
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VIDEO: in the Andorran mountains - the Tristaina lakes | |
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Estany Primer, the first of the three Tristaina Lakes. There's a marked hking trail, but I thought it best not to carry on in these conditions... | |
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The obligatory "metal" shot of me in the mountains | |
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Another shot of me in the mountains, doing what Abbath and Demonaz would have done | |
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Looking down towards Pal, in the west of Andorra, from almost as far as I could go on Carretera del Coll de la Botella | |
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...there was this drinking fountain spewing its wares right behind me... | |
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...and this barbecue! | |
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VIDEO: the view over Pal | |
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At the end of the part of Carretera del Coll de la Botella that wasn't closed to cars was this bizarre tea cup sculpture... | |
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...this is what I was going to attempt to get a picture with (this picture is actually from Google Street View) - much the way I did in Luxembourg, Liechtenstein and Monaco before it, but the road was too long to walk and the weather was awful... | |
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Houses in Pal, in better weather | |
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Just what I needed after a day in the mountains and being drenched on the way back... a seafood pizza! | |
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VIDEO: an unexpected second night in Residencia Nuria | |
| 19-20.05.2008 - HEADING NORTH, THROUGH FRANCE | ||
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Isn't that the greatest view you've ever seen from a motorway service station? It's right next to Étang de Leucate, just north of Perpignan. | |
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VIDEO: the view of the lake, and even more tea | |
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This is what I originally came to see! The magnificent Millau viaduct, which could almost fit the Eiffel Tower under it at its highest point, and I had the outrageous good fortune to be photographing it with same view that Jeremy Clarkson had on that Top Gear episode that featured this amazing bridge. Don't believe me? You do now. | |
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And, of course... there's me in the shot as well. | |
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VIDEO: I come over all patriotic at the largest bridge in France | |
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So, how do I keep the camera so steady during a drive over the bridge? This is how. | |
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VIDEO: driving over the Millau viaduct | |
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VIDEO: the horrors of French public toilets (the first instalment) | |
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Dinner in a layby: tinned cassoulet (involving brains and other horrors), a tin of pâté recovered from an Andorran snowdrift, and instant tea in a mug from Liechtenstein. It's like the United Nations on a marble table... | |
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VIDEO: only the finest French roadside cuisine for me! | |
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VIDEO: the horrors of French public toilets (encore!) | |
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VIDEO: an overnight stay in the middle of nowhere (relatively) | |
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VIDEO: at the lake in Moulismes | |
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VIDEO: the continuing horrors of French public toilets: the Crap Door | |
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VIDEO NASTY - ACHTUNG: the horrors of French public toilets reach a suitably sickening conclusion at Aire de Treillières, just north of Nantes. This is the outside public toilet block; the toilets in the service station itself are fine (and the shop sells French cider). | |
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VIDEO: dinner time in St. Malo | |
| 21.05.2008 - JERSEY | ||
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VIDEO: discussing French stereotypes on the boat to Jersey | |
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VIDEO: a fine day for the arrival in Jersey |  |
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Liberation Square, St. Helier: the monument to Jersey being freed from the iron grip of Nazi Germany | |
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VIDEO: Liberation Square: Jersey milk makes perfect ice cream for a hot day! | |
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A nautical monument... of some description | |
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A mural depicting the liberation of Jersey in 1945 | |
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Celebrating the Nazis getting a good kicking... with a fine Jersey ice cream | |
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...let's enjoy it even more | |
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The entrance to Jersey's War Tunnels | |
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A closer look inside that tank | |
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The "human TV screen" that I'm still unsure had a real German on the other end of a two-way communication device looking at me... | |
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Build your own crystal set... it's quite easy with a circuit diagram | |
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VIDEO: ...crystal set, Crystal Maze, see the connection here? | |
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Mount Orgueil castle, in Gorey | |
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The many names of |
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Jersey has a large proportion of Portuguese immigrants, so Portuguese restaurants are abundant. This one, in Gorey, served this hanging kebab called an espetada. | |
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The obligatory shot of me, with Mount Orgueil catle in the background | |
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VIDEO: the obligatory update, with Mount Orgueil Castle in the background | |
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How many people can say they've got a Martello Tower in their back garden? | |
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Martello Towers are all over Jersey; this one is Le Hocq, as seen on a Jersey penny | |
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Elizabeth Castle, St. Helier | |
| 22.05.2008 - GUERNSEY | ||
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VIDEO: ...after a tortorous journey on Guernsey's tiny back roads, I've reached the campsite |  |
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The Little Chapel, St. Andrew's; don't think that's a persepctive trick, it really is tiny | |
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The entrance, showing the scale of the place, and the mosaics that make it... | |
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The chapel itself - that doorway is barely tall enough for most of us to get through... | |
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Some closer details, including a map of Herm on a plate right in front of us | |
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The innards: decorated with broken crockery, and with barely enough room for a spot of self-flagellation | |
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Guernsey's western defences; Fort Grey, a.k.a. "the Cup and Saucer" | |
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The German Pleinmont Tower, built by the Nazis in 1942 during the occupation | |
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A closer look at Fort Grey | |
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No, not another look at Pleinmont - this is Fort Saumarez | |
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Fort Saumarez, from the other side, and its cannons | |
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The tiny island of Lihou, at sunset - and with the causeway covered by the sea | |
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Fort Richmond | |
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Sunset and Rayleigh scattering off the west coast of Guernsey | |
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Sunset and Rayleigh scattering over Lihou | |
| 23.05.2008 - GUERNSEY AND HERM | ||
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VIDEO: breakfast time in St. Peter Port | |
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The notice in the post office... in Guernésiais! | |
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Castler Cornet - the number one attraction in St. Peter Port | |
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These commemorative metal plaques had to be hidden when the Nazis invaded, so they were not recycled as weapons | |
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Castle Cornet's cannons | |
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General Sir John Lambert was imprisoned in Castle Cornet after the English Civil War, and spent most of his time gardening this small patch of the castle. So the story goes, his advice to Oliver Cromwell to appoint his son as successor, who turned out to be utter shit at the job, is what saved Britain from remaining under the tyranny of Cromwell's Puritans for more than the 12 years they had. | |
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Another of the gardens - which may have been the scene of the Great Explosion of 1672 | |
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...and another mini-garden | |
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St. Peter Port, from the south side of the castle | |
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A revolving cannon | |
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The ingenious way the castle was built around the rock that was already there | |
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The Nazis left their mark during the occupation, when Castle Cornet was used for defence purposes | |
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St. Peter Port, from the north side of the castle | |
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Guernsey's blue postbox... doesn't half look odd to those of us used to red ones | |
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On the boat to Herm | |
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VIDEO: an update on the boat to Herm | |
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The view from Herm harbour, of Jethou - one of the Barclay brothers' private islands.
Time for an invasion...? |
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There are a few short hikes round Herm, with a lot of undisturbed flora... | |
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...in which the rare Icelandic Mountain Troll can be seen | |
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Southwest Herm | |
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...hang on, you mean someone actually lives here? | |
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...there's a hotel, and everything! | |
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VIDEO: a sales pitch for an entire island... or maybe two? | |
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Vazon Right Battery... or is it the left? | |
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Fort Hommet | |
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A closer look at Fort Hommet | |
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The top of the fort | |
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Guns at Clarence battery, on the east side of the island, just south of St. Peter Port | |
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VIDEO: leaving Guernsey: the Grand Finale | |
| THE SCALE OF THE TRIP | ||
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This is the entire route... all 2,929 miles of it! | |
