More freshly roasted news clippings straight from the ovenNews from the Alps...
bigwigs at Chrysler are reported to have said "we ain't developin' no
engine for no crap-ass Euro-series, we got a company to rebuild! Hey, Mr
O-bama, give us some of your commie librul government cash!" -
completely forgetting that they are supplying an American team competing
in a world series with races in the USA and Canada. Affected by this is
the Monteverdi team, who have canned their Dodge V8 OHV engine in
favour of taking the plunge with V12 power from the Japanese speciality
tuners, HKS. Rumours that this is Carlo Chiti's old Subaru flat-12 bent
into a V shape are completely unsubstantiated; HKS say it should be
powerful enough to get Monteverdi challenging for podium positions.
Meanwhile, over at EuroBrun, some light has been shed on their mysterious Austrian V12 engine
built by HTL Steyr but carrying the Neotech brand name. Unfortunately,
the press release is in German, and EuroBrun's entire staff were too
busy to translate it, being concerned with the pressing matter of
finding some sponsors or facing the prospect of another revoltingly
uncompetitive season.Meanwhile, in Norfolk... the first of the 2013 cars breaks its cover!
I can make clickable images on this board. I am feeling very pleased
with myself. So are Tony Fernandes and Mike Gascoyne...)
TF: "Hey, Mike, great job you've done there!"
"Who'd have thought it could be so easy? The T127 might have been drawn
on the back of a fag packet and cobbled together in a few days, but
it's finally going to pay off!"
TF: "You mean... that's a recycled T127?"
"It is, all I've done is taken off those last few silly flippy bits
that we all thought were banned but weren't, gave the sidepods a bit of a
trim, and Bob's your uncle!"
TF: "Actually, my uncle was called Faisal..."
MG: "Figure of speech, Tony!"
TF: "But do you really think it can win?"
"Think about it; last year, someone left the plans for the Dallara
GP2/08 lying around, next thing we know, all the cars look like it!"
TF: "I know, I had a look at them myself. And photocopied them for good measure."
"The way I see it is, if that basic shape turns up again, we've got
them all covered. It'll be a five-year-old GP2 car with a Formula 1
engine in the back, versus us with a three-year-old model that wasn't
brilliantly fast but was at least a Formula 1 car in the first place!"
TF: "Right, I'd better find someone to drive it. Fairuz says he'll stay with us..."
MG: "What about Alex Yoong? He had some great races with Minardi last year."
TF: "But will he sign for us? We scored nothing last year... but I'll see if I can talk him into it."
MG: "With this car, tell him we'll be up the front and we'll trounce the competition in their old nails!"(TF goes off to call Alex Yoong and see if he's interested in a drive with FTM. MG calls him back.)
TF: "What? I'm busy!"
"I need to have another look at the blueprints for the car again. Have
you seen them? I thought I put them in this drawer..."
TF: "Actually, I had a call the other day from a junior designer, who wants to join our team and learn from the best."
MG: "...who's this? I'm sure I'd have heard of him."
TF: "He didn't give his name. But, he had this odd habit of talking in bawdy chat-up lines."
MG: "How'd he ever pass his engineering exam?"
No, really, he showed me a photo of his certificate. Even if it didn't
seem to have a name on it. Or at least I couldn't read it."
MG: "...and did he have an odd, slightly Eastern European accent?"
TF: "I think he tried to say he was from Transylvania..."
MG: "...and did he have a mole on his top lip?"
TF: "...actually, yes!"
MG: "You know who that was, don't you?"
TF & MG (realising what this means for the upcoming season): "OH... BATHPLUG!
Karthikeyan gets a little bit
in the way there, and that's Karthikeyan, and he's getting even more in
the way there! Now, he really should be moving on, moving out of the
way, he's desperately slow, he's there because of his rupees...